Let me offer a reframe that might change how you see every hard moment with a child: 

Behavior is communication. 

Not manipulation.
Not defiance.
Not “attention-seeking.” 

Communication. 

And once you see it—you can’t unsee it. 

I think about a moment early in my career… 

A child was completely dysregulated—
screaming, thrashing, falling apart. 

Every adult in the room was focused on stopping the behavior. 

But underneath it? 

Fear.
Powerlessness.
Overwhelm. 

When we only address behavior, we miss the message. 

And when we miss the message—We escalate the problem. 

Here’s the shift: 

From:
“What’s wrong with this child?” 

To:
“What happened—and how can I help?” 

That question alone changes your tone, your posture, your response. 

And kids feel it immediately. 

What this looks like in real life: 

Instead of:
“Stop that right now.” 

Try:
“I can see this is really hard. I’m here.” 

Instead of:
“Why are you acting like this?” 

Try:
“Something’s going on. Want to tell me or show me?” 

Instead of control— 

Connection. 

But let me be clear: 

This is not about being permissive. 

Children still need boundaries. 

They still need adults who are clear, firm, and steady. 

But…Boundaries land differently when they come through relationship. 

Call to Action 

If your team is stuck in behavior cycles that feel reactive, exhausting, and ineffective… 

It’s not because they don’t care. 

It’s because they haven’t been given the right tools. 

 Let’s talk about how to shift from behavior management to relationship-based practice in your organization. 

This is where real change begins.

Let’s talk about impact. 

Not buzzwords. Not inspiration. 

Actual, measurable change. 

Because when we talk about equipping everyday professionals, people often nod… and then quietly wonder: 

“Does this actually work?” 

Let me answer that clearly. 

Yes. And not in small ways. 

When professionals are given relational tools—not just expectations—we see: 

·       98% report more tools 

·       81% increase confidence 

·       82% feel less burned out 

·       99% report increased hope 

Pause on that last one. 

Hope. 

Right now, hope might be the most depleted resource in systems that serve children. 

Why does this work? 

Because burnout isn’t just about workload. It’s about feeling ineffective. 

I hear it every week: 

·       “I don’t know what to do with these behaviors anymore.” 

·       “Nothing is working.” 

·       “I’m exhausted and it’s not getting better.” 

And they’re right. Because we’ve trained people to manage behavior—
but not understand it. 

We’ve asked for compliance—without teaching regulation. 

We’ve expected connection—without modeling it. 

Let me tell you what shifts everything: 

When a teacher stops asking
“How do I get this child to listen?” 

and starts asking
“What does this child need right now?” 

When a provider pauses long enough to regulate themselves first. 

When a staff member has language—real language—to respond in hard moments. 

That’s when things change. 

Not overnight.
But meaningfully.
Sustainably. 

And here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: 

When adults feel more capable… 

Children feel safer. 

And when children feel safe— 

Behavior shifts. 

Learning opens. 

Relationships grow. 

Call to Action 

If your team is overwhelmed, stretched thin, and still showing up every day… 

They don’t need more pressure. 

They need more support. 

 Let’s talk about bringing practical, relational tools into your organization. 

This is how we reduce burnout

and increase impact—at the same time. 

I’m going to say something out loud that many of you have been thinking for a long time:

We cannot “refer & hope” our way out of this. 

There are not enough therapists.
There are not enough appointments.
There are not enough crisis beds. 

And yet… 

There are more children struggling than we’ve ever seen. 

I don’t say this lightly. I say this after decades of sitting with children in therapy rooms, hospitals, schools, and living rooms. I’ve worked alongside psychiatrists, teachers, pediatricians, and exhausted parents. 

And here’s what I know: 

Kids live in systems. 

They live in classrooms where teachers are getting hit, spit on, and burned out.
They live in homes where parents are overwhelmed and unsure.
They show up in clinics where providers have 15 minutes to solve what took years to build. 

I wrote recently about what’s happening in schools right now—
the throwing chairs, the dysregulation, the shutdown, the overwhelm. 

This is not a “behavior problem.” 

This is a capacity problem. 

We’ve asked a handful of specialists to hold what entire systems should be equipped to handle. And it’s collapsing. 

So what do we do? 

We shift the model. 

Because here’s the truth that changes everything: 

You don’t have to be a therapist to be therapeutic. 

Let me take you back to when I was 24—
a brand-new psychologist in a locked psychiatric unit with 12 kids in a dark room. 

The lights went out.
Kids were scared.
I was scared. 

I had no perfect intervention. 

So, I did the only thing I could: 

I got curious.
I named what was happening.
I helped them feel seen. 

And the room shifted. 

Not because I had a degree. 

But because I showed up regulated, relational, and human. 

That’s the work. 

And that work does not belong only to therapists. 

Imagine this instead: 

·       Classrooms where teachers know how to co-regulate instead of control 

·       Clinics where staff respond to behavior as communication 

·       Organizations where adults feel equipped—not exhausted 

That’s how we meet this moment. 

Not by adding more specialists. 

But by equipping the people already there. 

Call to Action 

If you’re leading a school, clinic, or organization and thinking: 

“Yes. This is exactly what we’re seeing—but we don’t know what to do next…” 

Let’s talk. 

We’re helping organizations build relational capacity using simple, practical tools that shift daily interactions—not just theory. 

 Book a call to explore bringing this work into your organization or community. 

Because the system doesn’t need more pressure. 

It needs a different approach. 

The past few weeks, we’ve been talking about centering your needs and advocating for you. I want to tell you a messy story of self-advocacy.

For me, working out at the gym, moving my body, and starting my day focused on my health is non-negotiable. Well, that and coffee. When I was working at a non-profit, running a private practice, and raising small kids, it was difficult to carve time out for and prioritize my self-care. At first, I struggled to ask for the time because my children and my spouse needed me. Then, I struggled to carve out time because I prioritized work, clients, and my business. Finally, I prioritized other people’s schedules so that I wouldn’t be seen as inflexible, unaccommodating, or selfish.

Wow, did that backfire on me! You know who made time for me after all of that? NO ONE.

Friends, no one is coming to your rescue. No one is looking out for your time away, your sanity, your mental health, nor your sense of self. At a certain point, I felt so wiped out that I had no other choice than to begin to protect my schedule. Appointments at 7pm to accommodate clients? Nope. Consistently early meetings that left me tired and unable to hit the gym? Nope. Rushing through meals to get to the next thing? Nope.

I started saying no. At first, it was a teeny-tiny voice. Then, the more confident I got, the easier it felt. Here’s an example – a client wanted to see me at 7pm. I said, “I’m not working past 5pm anymore. My schedule has shifted. I can see your family at 4pm.” At first, there was pressure about their work schedule, their travel schedule, kids missing school, etc. I responded with compassion AND firmness. “I understand and I can give you a referral to another practice, but my schedule doesn’t offer that time anymore.”

Notice that I didn’t say why.

Notice that I didn’t overexplain.

Notice that I offered compassion AND boundaries.

Guess what, they sighed, and took the time I offered. My time is valuable. And SO.IS.YOURS.

The only thing we get in life is our time – it’s the most valuable asset we have to offer others. Once, I truly embraced that, it was life-giving. Try it on.

And, if you’re a leader who needs to practice this message of compassion WITH boundaries, reach out. We’re here to help.

Last week, we talked about how important it is to consider your needs. This week, let’s talk about how to advocate for them. Wait…did you just hear screeching brakes? Were you like, wait, I cannot advocate for my needs? What excuse came up? What voice did you hear? Did you think, “But, it’s my job to take care of others…”?

Listen, you have to advocate for what you need so that you can continue to take care of others. I’m going to offer you some scripts, below. I want you try them on and see how they feel. All of these are rooted in boundaries. Boundaries are a way we can self-advocate for our needs. They tell other’s what’s ok and what’s not ok. You can download our boundary guide here, or send this link to others for a great tool! 

For caregivers: I love caring for our family. You mean the world to me. This Saturday, I have an opportunity to spend some time with friends for the day. I’m wondering how we can plan for me to be away? It will be good for all of us for me to re-charge. 

For educators: Kids’ behavior feels especially challenging for me right now. I’m going to extend one of our long weekends with my PTO. I’ll be sure to make sure the substitute is well-prepared. What else can I do before my absence? 

For healthcare providers: I’m going to need to ensure my lunch hour is blocked. No double-booking prior. I’m happy to help our team out in other ways, even double-booking me in the afternoon. But just before my lunch means that I get behind and skip eating, which is non-negotiable. When can I anticipate this being updated on my schedule? 

For other helpers and healers: We need to re-balance my caseload. Working for (child welfare, home visiting, etc.) is my passion; but only working with toddlers (or another challenging group) feels really heavy. I’d like to balance my caseload with parent visits, older children, coaching, etc (whatever feels cup-filling to you) so that I can continue to show up in an authentic way. 

I want you to notice a few things: 

·      The requests are compassionate 

·      The requests honor your needs 

·      The requests are non-negotiable 

How do these scenarios feel to you? How would you modify them? What questions do you have? I’d love to help you make better scripts, meet your needs, and self-advocate. 

If you’re in an organization that could use help like this for you and your staff, reach out!

2 days.

The time it takes me to feel less edgy and grumpy. 

4 days. 

The amount of time it takes me before I don’t reach for my phone constantly to check for updates. 

2 days. 

The number of times I opened my laptop for work – on the plane there, once for a team check-in. 

Dozens. 

The number of slack messages I left unread or marked unread to go back to later. 

To be honest, it’s tremendously hard for me to shift into vacation mode as a business owner. It has nothing to do with my team or the work I know they do behind the scenes. It’s a constant feeling of responsibility that’s ingrained in me. 

You know what helps? 

5 

The number of people I love on vacation with me. 

10 

The number of days I had with people I love. 

8 

The number of dinner reservations, so I didn’t have to worry about dinner. 

Thousands 

The number of times I laughed, smiled, or felt grateful for small moments. 

Every time I was tempted to work, open my laptop, worry about numbers, contracts, or people to serve, all I had to do was look around. There was too much to miss. I can only continue to serve, help others, make a difference, and spread love and awareness in the world if I rest. I am constantly telling others that self-preservation is non-negotiable. This week, I engaged in self-preservation. For myself, my family, and people I love to serve. 

I cannot wait to launch into April, restored and ready for our first conference. If you’re ready to work with us in 2026, we can’t wait to meet!

P.S. The Fall Conference dates are locked in! October 15-16, 2926 at Brasada Ranch in Eastern Oregon. Join our waitlist today!  

This week & next, we’re taking a break from our regular, spirited newsletter so that we can focus on pouring into leaders and each other. In fact, if you’re a leader in a mission-driven organization who serves children & families, we hope you’re joining us at lunch today!

In the home front, our team has been in a state of flux since the fall. First, we transitioned our technology team which resulted in a steep learning curve for us. It also felt more genuine and empowering to work behind the scenes and create workflows that represent us. We transitioned from working with an incredible growth officer to focusing more on expanding our partnerships and sales capacity so that we can continue to provide invaluable tools and workshops to organizations. This meant hiring a Head of Partnerships, who we adore. My core team has had to shift how and with whom they work, which resulted in fatigue and, inevitably, slows down our pace. Anytime there’s significant change, it places a great deal of pressure on my core team. 

So, I want to pause and express gratitude. If you’re leading an organization, expressing gratitude is important. If you have worked with us at all, you know how much I adore my team. 

Tegan Waring is our graphic designer and manages social media. Tegan shows up with class, curiosity, and an incredible sense of fashion! Tegan worked tirelessly and in collaboration with our translator to update all of our Cards for our signature program, Cards for Connection. They’re off to the printer so that we can continue to educate dedicated professionals about brief interventions to build relational health. Her turnaround time exceeded all of my expectations. If you’re at a training with us and feel inspired by our products, you can thank Tegan for making them beautiful. 

Brenna Diaz-Wilson coordinates everything behind the scenes – timing, scheduling, and follow up. Brenna has updated our entire Customer Relations Management software (CRM), arranges continuing medical education (CME) for our healthcare professionals, updates our online portal to aid professionals, and assists all of my travel. If you see me and I’m hydrated, housed, and showing up in all of the right places, you can thank Brenna. She also takes care of our team and all of our contractors in the most thoughtful way. 

Alena Labhart has been our Community Relations Manager for almost three years now. Her gift of compassion, conveying our company voice, and an easy but professional friendship to our partners is inspiring. Alena has helped grow our brand to thousands of professionals and continues to rise-up to challenges. You can’t access our work without experiencing Alena and we’re better because of her. 

We hope that 2026 brings us new, authentic partnerships, more efficiency and ease, and a greater impact on the world of professionals who serve children and families. Every day, I get accolades of support, admiration, respect, and stories of how the work we do impacts others. 

But you know what they say…behind every great woman is…just more great women. 

Team, we’ve got this. As we move into the second quarter of 2026, I hope you know how much you’re loved and appreciated. 

Last week, we announced we’re offering a FREE workshop for managers, directors and mission-driven leaders who want to lead in a way that’s compassionate AND sustainable. And, within 7 days, we have over 100 registrants. Let’s go! We’re speaking to EXACTLY what leaders need right now. And you know how I know? Proof of concept, baby.

1.     A Head Start organization reached out last week asking me this: We are looking for guidance on how to support staff experiencing burnout and ways to motivate them.

2.     At a recent training for preschool leaders and owners of childcare organizations, I reviewed a few of the concepts that we’ll be discussing on March 17^th, and they said: Where has this training been all my life? I wish I had this as a leader years ago! 

Friends, I’ve supported hundreds of organizations over the past several years. I’ve helped organizations create more competence and confidence for staff that leads to less burnout. I’ve helped leaders feel supported and create practical scripts to talk to staff that get results. And, I’ve trained hundreds of professionals in ways that give them an increase sense of hope; and when hope increases, people show up!

Block the hour. Bring your lunch. Bring a fellow leader.
Give yourself a reset.
Because it’s okay to be tired.
And it’s okay to need support.
And it’s absolutely possible to lead with both a strong back and a warm heart.
Save your seat: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/87899187894

Who’s in? 

PS: Know a director, admin, or program leader who’s living in the coverage crisis right now? Forward this to them. We lead better when we don’t lead alone.

Coming to our FREE workshop is like getting a FREE hug!

Last week, we announced we’re offering a FREE workshop for managers, directors and mission-driven leaders who want to lead in a way that’s compassionate AND sustainable. And, within 7 days, we have over 100 registrants. Let’s go! We’re speaking to EXACTLY what leaders need right now. And you know how I know? Proof of concept, baby.

1.     A Head Start organization reached out last week asking me this: We are looking for guidance on how to support staff experiencing burnout and ways to motivate them.

2.     At a recent training for preschool leaders and owners of childcare organizations, I reviewed a few of the concepts that we’ll be discussing on March 17^th, and they said: Where has this training been all my life? I wish I had this as a leader years ago! 

Friends, I’ve supported hundreds of organizations over the past several years. I’ve helped organizations create more competence and confidence for staff that leads to less burnout. I’ve helped leaders feel supported and create practical scripts to talk to staff that get results. And, I’ve trained hundreds of professionals in ways that give them an increase sense of hope; and when hope increases, people show up!

Block the hour. Bring your lunch. Bring a fellow leader.
Give yourself a reset.
Because it’s okay to be tired.
And it’s okay to need support.
And it’s absolutely possible to lead with both a strong back and a warm heart.
Save your seat: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/87899187894

Who’s in?

PS: Know a director, admin, or program leader who’s living in the coverage crisis right now? Forward this to them. We lead better when we don’t lead alone.

Let me guess: you’re trying to lead with heart… while also holding the line.

And right now, that line is getting tested daily:

• Staff not showing up (again).
• Call-outs stacking up like an inbox you can’t face.
• Staff overwhelmed, burned out, and barely hanging on.
• Closing classrooms because you literally don’t have enough staff.
• Budget cuts forcing layoffs that feel like a gut punch.
• And you’re still expected to protect the mission, support your team, serve families, and keep everything running.

Whew.

If you’ve been feeling torn between compassion and great expectations, you are not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. You’re leading in a season that is genuinely hard.

Virtual Lunch with Dr. Amy (FREE)
Great Expectations: Leading with Strong Backs and Warm Hearts
March 17th, 2026
Noon PST
Join/Register here:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/87899187894 

This workshop is for managers, directors, administrators, and mission-driven leaders who want to lead in a way that’s both human and sustainable.

What we’ll do together

1. Name the messy middle of leadership
   How to be warm without being walked on, and firm without becoming the villain.
2. Talk burnout with staff and give them tools to reduce burnout, plus be transparent about the need for reliability
   Because your staff are going through a lot… and your organization still needs consistency.
3. Practice real-life scripts you can use immediately
   Because in the moment, you don’t need a theory—you need words.

I’ve supported hundreds of organizations over the past several years. I’ve helped organizations create more competence and confidence for staff that leads to less burnout. I’ve helped leaders feel supported and create practical scripts to talk to staff that get results. And, I’ve trained hundreds of professionals in ways that give them an increase sense of hope; and when hope increases, people show up!

Block the hour.
Bring your lunch.
Bring a fellow leader.

Give yourself a reset.

Because it’s okay to be tired.
And it’s okay to need support.
And it’s absolutely possible to lead with both a strong back and a warm heart.

Save your seat:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/87899187894 

PS: Know a director, admin, or program leader who’s living in the coverage crisis right now? Forward this to them. We lead better when we don’t lead alone.