Hello Friends,

Holy smokes, do I have news for you! TWO opportunities to get some support during this time of uncertainty. I know you’re all overwhelmed. I know burnout is real and fatiguing. The only way to address burnout is through connection, support, and practical tools. When we come together as a community and acknowledge how challenging the last 20 months have been, then some healing and reconciling can begin. So, with that being said, here are two opportunities for support. FREE and FREE!!

“Amy, no one had told me that ‘it’s ok to not be okay’ until you did. Thank you for reminding me that we’re human.”
Chief Medical Officer (after Summer Wellness Workshop)

Mark your calendars! The first bit of support is through a free workshop on November 10 at 6pm. Beyond Burnout: Navigating your way through trying times as a provider. In this workshop, we’ll discuss symptoms of burnout, what’s contributing to burnout and how to address what we’re going through. I promise you, I’m not going to give out nuggets that focus on eating better, getting sleep and taking a vacation. I mean, that’s all-important, but I’m going to give you tangible things you can do to address overwhelm. Let’s be honest, we need to focus on what’s possible and practical. And more importantly, when we only focus on a few parts of self-care, we miss the big picture! We’re going to walk through actionable steps you can take to address overwhelm and find more purpose in your work.

Register for this free workshop here.

Join us! Many of you have joined us for Refresh – our monthly meetings for providers to gather as a community, gain tools around resilience-building and gather resources to support your patients. Well, Refresh will now be known as The Provider Lounge: A Community to Build Resilience. The Provider Lounge is a community of like-minded medical providers that want to focus on building resilience in their patients and themselves. If you’re looking for a place to find purpose, create meaning, and respond with practical tools that build buffering forces for whatever our patients face, this is the community for you!

The Provider Lounge is also an online portal for providers. In it, you can access tons of content that build resilience for your patients including scripts, videos, resilience interventions, and cards for connection.

For now, The Provider Lounge is free! Come to a meeting and check out the portal. If you want access right away to see what’s going on inside, just reply to this email and I’ll send you a login so you can join us. Our next community gathering in The Provider Lounge will be Thursday, November 4 at 12:30 pm. And yes, all meetings are taped so that, even if you miss us, you won’t miss the gems!

Join us via Zoom on November 4th at 12:30 pm for The Provider Lounge.

OK friends, I hope you feel like help is on the way. I’m working hard to make myself available, provide resources and free support as much as possible.

See you November 4 and November 10th! Mark your calendars now!

Speaking of free and easy…. did you know that 90 seconds of deep belly breathing has been shown to decrease cortisol by 30%??? Yep – breathing is straightforward and simple – but we don’t always take time to do it.

So, deep breaths friends, help is coming!

With compassion,

Dr. Amy

Hello Colleagues,

Wow. The past few weeks have been exhausting. Or, shall we say, even more exhausting? Between returning to school, vaccine mandates and staffing shortages, not to mention increased hospitalizations due to COVID, I know so many of you feel like you’re drowning.

You’re not alone.

Because you’re short on time and a lengthy email is the LAST thing you have time for right now, might I offer you a few reminders to address overwhelm?

1.     Get connected – on any level – in person, online, in a group, with your body, with an incredible friend. Connection is the NUMBER ONE factor that will address burnout.

2.     Breathe – it’s simple but effective. Research has shown that just 90 seconds of deep, belly breathing can reduce your cortisol levels. Take off your mask, find a space, and breathe deeply.

3.     Tap out – take a break, even if it’s for short periods of time. In 90 seconds you can breathe. In 5 minutes you can stretch. In 15 minutes you can eat a meal and try not to rush. In 30 minutes you can watch a sitcom and belly laugh. In an hour you dive into a creative task like knitting, singing, or drawing. In a half-day, you can go for a hike or visit a friend. In a day you can get out of town and disconnect from work. You get the picture…

4.     Feel your feelings – I know, you’ve stopped reading… “If I feel my feelings, I’ll go into a black hole and never come out.” It’s not true. Acknowledging feelings actually help them subside because they’re recognized. Once a feeling is recognized, you can decide what to do with it – cry? Set it aside for now? Write it down? Talk to someone? Run? Share it? That feeling needs to be felt all the way through, or it will pile up and come out in other spaces.

5.     Focus on what you can do now. You can’t solve the problem of yesterday and you cannot predict tomorrow (or even later today). But you can be present in the next moment with your patient, your colleague, your MA, or your partner. That’s the only moment we can control.

Gentle reminders friends. This is not an assignment, nor a task to achieve. It is how you will survive through this mess. Simply take an inventory of the ideas and choose one to be more intentional about during your day. Just one small action.

With compassion,

Dr. Amy

Hello friends, insert sigh here….if you’re like me, my family and many other families I saw this week and heard from, you’re exhausted.

Somehow, the calendar turned over to May and kids and families, who previously were doing “OK”, suddenly felt overwhelmed and exhausted.
 
Be sure to go back and read previous posts on managing worry and recognizing stress in kids. But in the meantime, I want all of you to join me for a collective deep breath.
 
Let me be clear. It’s normal for all of us to go through emotional ups and downs. During the day and even hour-to-hour, this is a grind. But, this past week felt heavier. Families felt fragile. Kids began to fall apart. Teachers were crying. Parents wanted to throw in the towel. Something in May signified a mixed message for many. We think May means spring, fun, 6 weeks of school, graduations, celebrations and all things new. What it felt like was loss, overwhelm, and SIX MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL?
 
Naturally, this time of year is tough for any student, ask a teacher. Kids are restless, tired and have a sense of spring fever. But this May is unique – we’re experiencing all of the restlessness without many feelings of joy or celebration.
 
So, what do we need right now? What can we do with all of that collective sadness or angst?
 
Pretend it’s not there?
Gloss over it with “we’ll be ok?”
Encourage people to focus on the goodness?
Watch videos of people coming together?
 
I say, what we need most right now is acknowledgment. Yep. Embrace the suckiness and sadness and overwhelm and angst. Let yourself sit there for a bit. Sit there with your kids, your partner, your co-worker. Let them cry. Let them vent. Let your kindergartener mourn his/her teacher and let your senior sit in his/her cap and gown and sob. Take pictures of the prom dress and throw the baseball that won’t see a game. Be angry for something you never anticipated or signed up for….
 
After you’ve done that, after you’ve let yourself sit with your or someone else’s pain only then can we move forward. Pain requires acknowledgment. Before we can find purpose and meaning or celebration or “good” we must acknowledge pain. Acknowledgment heals.
 
That’s it, my friends. I’m here for you.
 
Dr. Amy
 
P.S. If you’d like some way to find purpose later this week, after you dust yourself off, I’d love for you to join me in toasting teachers this Friday for a virtual Happy Hour. What is a virtual happy hour for teachers? It’s a time to come together as a community of educators and have fun together! It’s socially connected (but physically distant!) way to laugh, inspire, and connect. We’ll share teacher stories, play some fun games (think COVID-teacher bingo inspired by google classroom sightings!), and take some time to hear what Dr. Amy has to say about rejuvenation and well-being for teachers during this time. There will be surprises, teacher gifts, and a little dancing; but MOST OF ALL – COMMUNITY AND CONNECTION!

A Toast for Teachers!

Hello friends- How are you? If you’re like me, you’re great one moment and then in tears the next, only to be followed by confusion and utter boredom. No? Just me?
 
I hope you had a chance to read last week’s blog about managing worry. If you haven’t, you can check it out here. If you’re a teacher and you’re feeling overwhelmed, be sure to check out this free resource.

We must, as adults in children’s lives, manage our own stress and worry first – dysregulated adults cannot help children regulate their own feelings – and they need us right now. It’s OK to not be OK right now; but if you’re an adult who’s suffering, please reach out for help – from me or another trusted provider. I want all of us, as adults, putting on our oxygen masks first.
 
Now, on to the children. What does stress look like in children? How does it present itself? What should we look for? And when we see it, what do we do? I’ve got you covered. Here are 5 ways stress presents in children and how to help kids manage worry.

1. Sometimes stress comes out as anger. Anger can look like mean words, eye rolling, loud voices, isolation, slamming doors, complete withdrawal and stonewalling, or refusal to engage – and all of that was just my 13-year-old this morning! But seriously, when kids don’t have a way or the experience to express more complex feelings, often anger is the go-to defense mechanism. Anger presents itself as a mask to more complicated, vulnerable feelings that usually can be identified as: SAD, WORRIED, OR CONFUSED.

2. Helplessness is another way that stress presents in children. Feeling out of control, in despair and overwhelmed are typical ways that children experience worry and stress. There is so much that they cannot control right now, which leads to a feeling of helplessness. They’ve been removed from their normal routines, their friends and many people around them are stressed too. Enter overwhelm.

3. Perhaps your kids seem completely exhausted right now… fatigue is another way that stress presents in children. My 15-year old said it best the other day. “I’m underwhelmed and overwhelmed all at the same time.” Guess what that does to your energy levels? It zaps them! Monotony, overwhelm and disconnect all lead to feelings of tiredness and fatigue.

4. Numbing out or dissociating is another way that children experience stress. This might look like playing video games non-stop, zoning out on screens, disappearing into their bedrooms, looking bleary-eyed and disconnected, seeming “meh” or disengagement with regular activities. It’s kind of like their brains have decided to go on strike because all of this is simply too much to handle. Anyone else feel this way?

5. I’m so bored!! How many of you have heard that? Boredom presents itself in whininess, clinging to us, and complaining from children. Some kids over eat, check out, wander or will complain of other feelings like lonely, tired and isolated. They really have not had a lot of chances prior to this pandemic to be THIS BORED… me neither! We typically have children so overscheduled and overstimulated that boredom rarely enters into their vernacular. Whew!

 
Now, what’s a parent to do? How do we address stress in these young people we love? Here are a few practical ways to intervene to address stress.
 
Anger – First, help your child regulate. Regulation before redirection or consequences for angry outbursts will lead you to more connection with your child. Help your child do some belly breathing or get to a calm space. Acknowledge the anger and then give him/her some other feeing words that will more readily address the more complex feelings.
 
“You seem sad right now and it’s coming out as withdrawing from your family. Do you want to talk about it?” Or, “I bet you’re confused about why all of this is going on right now. I can help you talk through some of it if you’d like.” Or,
“Sometimes anger and worry come together – I know there’s a lot on your mind right now. Can we make a list of your top 3 worries?”
 
Helplessness – Because there are so many things that feel out of control to your child, lend them some opportunities for control. Can your child choose their bed time or when they’re working on school work? Can he/she decide what’s for dinner and help you? Can your child have some control of their space – maybe some privacy or fun redecorating a space to feel cozy? Or, can you simply provide more choices throughout the day – choices that might not matter to you, but lend your child a sense of control.
 
Fatigue – Structure, predictability, and consistency – repeat. Structure, predictability, consistency – repeat. Remember, that your daily schedule, pre-pandemic, had a lot of structure to it. Try to replicate structure and predictability where you can. I’m encouraging my kids to go to bed and wake up at the same time, exercise regularly, and get dressed every day. While it might seem fun at first to take a “summer camp approach” or “vacation-mind” to this time, our kids actually thrive on consistency. As well, encouraging lots of mental breaks balanced with physical activities and embodied time – both will combat fatigue.
 
Numbing out – While some amount of this is normal, a lot is not healthy. Try to help your children recognize the difference between passive and active coping tools. Passive coping will lead us to numbing – video games/screens, sleeping, and mindlessly eating are all passive coping tools. Active coping tools such as journaling, exercising, engaging with friends, listening to music and reading will bring us back into the present and away from numbing.
 
Boredom – First, validate what’s happening. Acknowledge that our kids haven’t had this opportunity and that boredom can actually provide a lot of time for creativity and pondering. Second, help your child find purpose. Encourage him/her to sit in the feeling of “being bored” and ask questions about what he/she would like to do – hobbies, interests, cooking, etc. can all decrease boredom. You might also ask about loneliness, which is often mistaken for boredom.
 
That’s all my friends. I hope this helps you and your children address some of the overwhelm you’re facing right now.
 
Speaking of overwhelm, if you’re a teacher or love a teacher, grab this free resource on how to create mindset shifts and manage feelings of overwhelm.
 
Let’s keep learning together – I’m here for you.
 
Dr. Amy
 
PS – Find me on Facebook and Instagram
PPS – Reply to this email now and let me know how you’re doing – I love hearing from you!