Hey Friends,

I’ve gotten so many amazing, thoughtful messages regarding words of the new year and ground rules for 2022. Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your insights. If you missed those blogs, you can find them here.

As we move into February, a relatively short month after the year of January, I want to remind you of a duality we all face – balancing grief with joy. Duality implies recognizing the “and” in life and in our experiences – the co-occurrence of conflicting feelings. While competing feelings can appear to be mutually exclusive, one factor that makes us complicated-feeling humans is that we experience multiple feelings at the same time. And those feelings do not have to be exclusive of each other. They actually co-occur. They exist at the same time, in parallel. Grief and joy. Happiness and despair. Confusion and content. Love and disappointment. Remember the last time you felt immense love for your child only to be confused by his/her behavior? Pride for your job and overwhelm at the same time? Passion for your partner and frustration with him or her? Gratitude for opportunities and despair at obligation? This is duality.

We’re entering into year three of this global pandemic. Compounding stressors – oppression, politics, loss, employment, severe weather, illness – all contribute to a degree of hopelessness at times. So, I want to remind you that amidst the stressors and gloom, we must still find joy. Babies are born. Graduations ensue. Love prevails. Anniversaries occur. Sunsets paint tapestry. Loved ones accomplish. Athletes triumph. Melodies inspire. Laughter emits. And this balance is important, friends. In fact, embracing the dualities of life allow us to endure.

In the spirit of joy, may I offer a personal experience and reflection? Last month I married my soulmate, my best friend. Dr. Amy became Dr. Amy King. “I” turned to “we” and “us.” Fulfilled, tender and joyous are words that begin to convey this experience. Making promises to our children as we sealed our fate as a family and declared our love in front of friends was an experience I will forever cherish. Having a second chance at love, passion and connectedness is not something I will take for granted. We experienced profound joy. The weeks before? The weeks ensuing? Perhaps not as much – daily life stressors, first responder lives (him), helping healers (me), supporting our children (both), and simply managing life amidst a pandemic – whew, it’s rough! But allowing moments of joy to fill the gaps? Seeing light amidst the chaos? Finding love despite loss? I say yes!

So, it is with extreme JOY that I share this news. And my joy does not in any way diminish all of the other hardships that exist in our world. Nor does yours. So, my friends, may I encourage all of you to laugh out loud, love hard, dance awkwardly, enjoy sunrises, and seek out connection. It is our ONLY way through the darkness.

With immense gratitude,

Dr. Amy (King)!
You can still find me at the same email: doctoramyllc@gmail.com – we love to hear from you!