My heart is a bit heavy as I write this. In the same week, one of my best friends had a beautiful new baby and someone I cared about deeply died. The world gained an angel and lost a beautiful soul. Do you ever find it hard to hold space for two such opposing experiences? Do you ever see beauty, joy, and glory while also experiencing grief, hostility or pain? I literally held a hand of someone dying and held a new baby in my arms within hours of each other. Yes, life sure seems incongruous at times.
Let me tell you how the messy-ness played out. I felt grumpy, tired, overwhelmed and quick-to-anger. After that week, I was distant from my kids and short with my family. My brain was trying to sort out how life can be so beautiful and then so painful in a flash. It was not pretty.
It was a reminder to slow down a bit this week. I tried to allow myself rest, moments of reflection, accepting help and leaning into love. And it was hard. Life doesn’t slow down for these moments of joy nor grief; so, we must do it ourselves. When life gets messy and unpredictable, it’s hard not to throw our hands up. But, if we can recognize the chaos, then we can try to be more intentional.
Be honest about your pain.
Hold the baby.
Reach out to one person who loves you unconditionally.
Cry for the children who lost their mother.
Run until you’re breathless.
Wonder in amazement how tiny new humans are.
Don’t push away.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Lean into love from others.
Small steps my friends. Life can take your breath away. Let it. Then breathe again.
Oh, and eat the cake.