In one of our recent Champions Collaborative meetings, the community of practice open to everyone certified in Cards for Connection for two years following their certification, we had the privilege of meeting a young man named Sam. Sam is the CEO of Autism Rocks and Rolls, and he came to us with a lived experience worth slowing down for.
A few things from his story have stayed with me.
First, Sam talked about accommodations. In his words, accommodations allow people to show what they’re capable of. He pointed out that, in some form, everybody needs accommodations. For people with autism, the right accommodations aren’t extra, they’re what allows them to shine.
He also gave professionals and parents permission to learn as they go, to adjust their approach over time rather than getting it perfect from the start. His hope is that everyone working with someone with autism becomes a detective about their behavior, curious about the message underneath it rather than the behavior itself. Behavior is communication. That’s the heart of it.
This idea sits at the center of our certification program. One of our cards, “What’s Behind the Behavior?”, names the intervention we teach, and it is built entirely around that question. From there, we teach professionals to respond to what that behavior is communicating, whether it’s an unmet need, a missing skill, or a feeling underneath the surface.
In Sam’s mind, accommodation should be universal, offered to everyone rather than reserved for a few.
After talking with Sam and his mom, I had a reflection of my own. When we offer accommodations to people on the spectrum, we give them a path to regulation. Accommodation leads to regulation. And regulation is what allows the thinking brain to come online, what makes relationship and learning possible in the first place. Accommodation leads to regulation, and regulation leads to learning. That felt like a real aha moment for our group.
Finally, Sam talked about explaining “the why”. Too often, people with disabilities are forced into an intervention, a support, a specialist, or a therapist without ever understanding the reason behind it. When Sam was first told he needed speech therapy, he pushed back. In his mind, he already knew how to talk. It wasn’t until someone explained that speech therapy was also about the nuances of communication, about relating to others in social spaces, that it started to make sense to him. People with disabilities deserve to understand the how and why behind an intervention, not just be subjected to it in the name of fitting a mold of what we consider socially appropriate.
Our Champions left that meeting moved by Sam’s honesty and openness, by how funny and warm he is, and by how much knowledge and success he carries. The biggest takeaway for all of us: when we lean into someone’s lived experience and truly listen to their story, we learn more than any book or class could ever teach us.
If these tools are something that would make your work more meaningful, we hope you join us for our fall conference, November 4-6.
