Last week, we talked about how important it is to consider your needs. This week, let’s talk about how to advocate for them. Wait…did you just hear screeching brakes? Were you like, wait, I cannot advocate for my needs? What excuse came up? What voice did you hear? Did you think, “But, it’s my job to take care of others…”?

Listen, you have to advocate for what you need so that you can continue to take care of others. I’m going to offer you some scripts, below. I want you try them on and see how they feel. All of these are rooted in boundaries. Boundaries are a way we can self-advocate for our needs. They tell other’s what’s ok and what’s not ok. You can download our boundary guide here, or send this link to others for a great tool! 

For caregivers: I love caring for our family. You mean the world to me. This Saturday, I have an opportunity to spend some time with friends for the day. I’m wondering how we can plan for me to be away? It will be good for all of us for me to re-charge. 

For educators: Kids’ behavior feels especially challenging for me right now. I’m going to extend one of our long weekends with my PTO. I’ll be sure to make sure the substitute is well-prepared. What else can I do before my absence? 

For healthcare providers: I’m going to need to ensure my lunch hour is blocked. No double-booking prior. I’m happy to help our team out in other ways, even double-booking me in the afternoon. But just before my lunch means that I get behind and skip eating, which is non-negotiable. When can I anticipate this being updated on my schedule? 

For other helpers and healers: We need to re-balance my caseload. Working for (child welfare, home visiting, etc.) is my passion; but only working with toddlers (or another challenging group) feels really heavy. I’d like to balance my caseload with parent visits, older children, coaching, etc (whatever feels cup-filling to you) so that I can continue to show up in an authentic way. 

I want you to notice a few things: 

·      The requests are compassionate 

·      The requests honor your needs 

·      The requests are non-negotiable 

How do these scenarios feel to you? How would you modify them? What questions do you have? I’d love to help you make better scripts, meet your needs, and self-advocate. 

If you’re in an organization that could use help like this for you and your staff, reach out!