My heart is heavy this week. I’m usually pretty good at compartmentalizing. But for about three weeks now, when there was another school shooting in Minnesota, things have felt harder to silo. As I was collecting my lunch for the day, pouring coffee, and grabbing last-minute items to leave for work, I heard the announcement about Annunciation Catholic school and I froze. This is where my best friend’s baby went to school, her nephews, her neighbors. Within minutes of the news breaking, I received a text “…they are not there, thankfully. But our neighbors, our friends, and teachers. It’s horrific.” I took a deep breath. Then, I had to move on, momentarily. Invited to a Head Start in-service to kick off their school year with hope, I needed to drive to another site with teachers, full of anticipation for the school year.
And this week, two more horrific shootings. At least two that made the news. Countless others. In Colorado, where two students were hospitalized and the perpetrator shot himself and later died, followed by the assassination of Charlie Kirk. We live in a country where coverage a school shooting was interrupted by coverage of an assassination. It’s unfathomable to me as a woman, wife, mother, psychologist, health professional, sister, auntie, and friend. Any lost life is too much.
As I cried, prayed, contemplated, walked, processed and held space for grief, I’m turning towards the only thing I know how to do: ACTION. Control what I can control. And here’s what I can control: providing a space of openness, education, and information-seeking. I’m not seeking to testify in Congress. I will not change our administrative policy. I cannot shift the minds of lobbyists. I do not want to further politicize lost lives. But I can offer ways to talk to children and your families about violence, communication, and conflict resolution. It’s the only way I hold onto hope right now.
At the end of the day, it’s connection that heals. It’s coming together that matters. Here are two ways you can join me:
1. Let’s gather on Saturday at 9am PST/10am MT/11am CT/Noon EST. I’m going to show up for as many people as possible. Whether that be five of us or 500. And I’ll stay as long as there are questions. Invite friends, please! Here’s what we’ll cover:
a. How to talk to children in developmentally appropriate ways about violence.
b. How to model conflict resolution for children of all ages.
c. Ways to buffer our children from stress & trauma and build connection.
2. If you’re a professional, attend our fall conference. Learn about how we mitigate stress and trauma through brief interventions that build relational health and connection. And if you’re not a professional that works with kids and families, sponsor someone else to attend.
I hope to see so many of you this Saturday. I do not care about your religious or political beliefs. If you love children and want to support them, I encourage you to show up. This is how things change – with small and mighty groups who are purposeful about how we handle conversations and model conflict resolution with our children.
