This month, I’m writing about loneliness and how to create less aloneness for ourselves and others. This week, I thought I would kick us off by offering a short story. 

Years ago, while chatting with my friend, Ann, on my way home from work, she some shared sadness she was experiencing about one of her boys. Ann, my sweet friend, parent educator, cantor, friend extraordinaire, doesn’t readily reach out for help. She defines introversion and would prefer days in jammies and writing blogs than a social soiree of any type. I find she turns inward versus outward when she’s struggling. She’s also got a few decades on me, age-wise, so perhaps, at the time, I did not represent who she might turn to in a time of need or sorrow. Nonetheless, I felt her sadness. While driving and hearing her voice in pain, I simply navigated my car to her home. 

Ann was still on the phone with me when I approached the door. “Hang on Amy, someone is here…oh, it’s you.” And then tears. Tears for both of us. Tears for Ann feeling seen and heard. Tears for me, sharing my friend’s pain. We simply sat and talked. I couldn’t fix her pain. I could not make it go away. But I could sit there and hold it with her, for just a bit. That drive to Ann’s home, sitting with her, sharing stories, and being tearful, together, defines a core memory of our friendship.

This is how we create less aloneness. Show up. Sit in the pain with someone. Don’t fix it. Don’t hide from it. Don’t say, “I can’t imagine…” Just go to the ones you love. 

I want to hear from you this week. How will you show up for someone without any expectation that they’ll “feel better” or “get better” or that anything will be fixed? Tell me. 

We’re creating less aloneness right here. 

 And if someone you know needs a weekly dose of love, send them here!