I just returned from a heart-filling, belly-laughing, soul-filled weekend with girlfriends. We fondly call ourselves the NBC, aka, Nerdy Book Club; yet, we haven’t read books for years. These four psychologists – I know, can you imagine all FIVE of us together – have been in my life for over a decade. Since it’s the week of Thanksgiving, I thought I might share gratitude for these women and lessons I’ve learned because of their friendship. And since there’s five of us, here are my top five.

1. Show up. These women show up. For both large events and intimate gatherings, we are there for each other. Consistency is key. We have a shared text thread – think pictures of alpacas, collective worries, photo bombs, and inspiration. And we are intentional about gathering. Rarely does a month go by without an NBC meeting. Okay, sometimes six weeks because…kids. 
2. Laugh. We laugh so hard – at each other, together, about mistakes, and mishaps. We laugh about our partners, our kids, our careers, and our mishaps. It’s a huge accomplishment if someone is laugh-crying, or near the point of peeing her pants. We have inside jokes, inappropriate innuendos, and silly comparisons.
3. Grieve. Dang it if this isn’t foundational for us. We grieve in so many forms – for marriages in trouble, for marriages that end, for our children & collective uncertainties, for our clients, for our family members in pain, for our individual traumas, and for losses we each experience. We grieve the aging process (lots of botox and menopause chats), living apart, becoming empty nesters, and women’s rights. We grieve for each other even when we disagree what to feel sad about as a group.
4. Hold space. There is no other group more validating than these women. Can you even imagine what it might feel like to experience the love of four veteran psychologists? Collectively, we have over 100 years of experience. So, we bring questions, stress, discovery, solace, sadness, and despair for each other. And then, we simply sit with each other’s pain. We hold space. And the biggest lesson here? Be quiet and validate. 
5. Celebrate. There are some pictures that are not meant for public consumption, but goodness do we celebrate! We celebrate our babies, our marriages, holidays, gatherings, and a multitude of accomplishments. These women celebrated my book, my marriage, my love, and my personal growth. 

What’s the moral of the story? Find your village – I know so many of my newsletters are about connection. Why? Because it’s the antidote to stress and trauma. Connection heals adversity and helps us move through feeling cycles.

Here’s to the NBC – I hit the bullseye with all of you! 

If you celebrate Thanksgiving, happy, happy blessings to you. If you don’t, I hope you’re enjoying some days off, snuggling together with folks you love.