If you’re following along, you know that I’ve been sharing the dedication and acknowledgement sections of my book with you. Last week, I reviewed the first part of my acknowledgements. Today, I’m diving into the second part of my acknowledgment section – my intellectual mothers. Here is the second part of my acknowledgement section:
I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge Drs. Myrtle Scott, Ellen Brantlinger, and Marsha McCarty. Three brilliant mentors who shaped my intellectual history and passion for young children, children and families with extreme adversities, and family systems work, respectively. Your words and wisdom live inside of me and every individual whose life I have touched.
All three of these phenomenal women were at Indiana University. The shaped who I am today as a woman and as a psychologist.
Dr. Myrtle Scott required that we read no less than 300 pages/week for our graduate course on Child Development. She would sit at the head of our seminar class and ask, “What thinkest thou?” And then she would wait until one of us spoke. She adored & collaborated with Head Start, encouraged thoughtful discussions, and required that we all familiarize ourselves with the people who shaped how we think. Dr. Scott gave me feedback on teaching, encouraged the leader in me, and sternly but lovingly told me what it took to be a woman in academia. She found me in tears one day after another (male) professor had found my approach to be “too warm” with a child. Dr. Scott brought me in her office and said, “You’re a crier. Crying means you care. Embrace who you are. This field will try to tell you how to be and who to be. But I see who you’re becoming. Stay true to who you are.” Throughout my tenure with her, I was amazed by her intellect, touched by her authenticity, and molded by her coaching. I am forever grateful for her guidance.
Dr. Ellen Brantlinger exposed me to gaps that exist in education, mental health, and medicine due to poverty and injustices. Some of the greatest writings about childhood inequalities, families in crisis, and stress were read because of her. She was my dissertation chair – Factors that Affect How Families Cope and Adjust to Having Children with Complex Medical Needs – and encouraged me to approach my studies from a qualitative space. Working with her provided me a continuation of my studies in childhood stress, trauma, and factors that promote resilience for families. Thanks to her encouragement, I sat for hours and listened to stories of brave families and parsed out themes that helped them cope. After hours of reviewing recordings, Ellen would sit patiently and encourage – more curiosity, deeper themes, broader questions, and finding a profound understanding and compassion for families. Her guidance shaped my approach to research and the compassion I hold for families in crisis.
Dr. Marsha McCarty. I can still feel her presence as we would sit in circles and debrief our counseling work with children and families. She allowed me to lead a year-long teen girls’ group, sit in on countless family therapy sessions, and encouraged me to expand my practice of assessment and therapy. Marsha modeled exactly what and who we needed to be in a therapeutic space. She was kind, compassionate, thoughtful, funny, curious, and frank. I still remember sitting and observing an intense family therapy session she was running. Things were escalating, voices raising, and blame being cast. Marsha resolutely said, “Well, you can do this for free at home, so, perhaps we should use this time to try something different.” The same woman sat with moms in tears, suicidal teens, divorcees, and grieving families. She showed me that it was ok to care and be professional. To be loving and brilliant. To be bold and kind. When I challenge clients, share vulnerability with parents, or show up for families in unique but profound ways, I am grateful for her guidance. She is in every session with me.
Without these women, my book would not exist. The body of work I’ve created regarding relational health and Cards for Connection would not exist. I stand on the shoulders of brave, brilliant, fiercely competent women.
Tell me, who has shaped you?
