Happy Mother’s Day?

Hi Friends,

It’s Mother’s Day and I’m sitting at a rodeo. If you’ve been a subscriber for long, you know my son has had some hard-fought battles by participating in this sport. This weekend, it means a 5 hour drive to rural Oregon. Don’t get me wrong, like most of you, I would do anything for my kids, even on Mother’s Day – because I signed up for this. Did I mention that it’s really hot and dusty, though? Ok, enough whining; but, it really got me thinking about sacrifices we make as moms and I want to be frank – we signed up for this. 

Here’s what I know for sure about being a mom: 

  • get to be a mom. Not everyone who wants to be a mom has this privilege. 
  • It means showing up. Even in dust, dirt and grime. Even when they lose. Especially when they lose. 
  • Being a mom sometimes means that you’re actually “not mom” – but you’re a dad, aunt, grandparent or caregiver who has taken on this role. Shout out to those moms!
  • want to be a mom. There are people fighting for women’s rights and healthcare rights everywhere for those of us who aren’t quite ready to be a mom. And let me be clear – that’s a healthcare issue for WOMEN and their DOCTORS. 
  • It means that, many days, I don’t want to “mom” – read “mom” as a verb here. I don’t want to sacrifice, plan, negotiate, worry, taxi or all of the other things we do. Yet, I do. Because I get to. 
  • Not everyone wants to be a mom. Please, stop making women feel bad for knowing what they want and don’t want. Please, stop telling them they’re missing out or that they’ll change their mind. I’m proud of those women for knowing themselves. 
  • I’m tired. Most days I vacillate between a bit tired and extremely exhausting. 
  • I do NOT always get this right. I mess up. I make mistakes. I yell at my kids and wish I could take back words or moments. But I keep trying every day.
  • Being a mom doesn’t mean perfect – it means presence. 
  • Stay-at-home moms are amazing. Working moms are amazing. Stop pitting us against each other. 
  • ALL moms love their kids – yep, even the one you just thought of as an exception. 
  • It’s ok if you and your mom are estranged. Or if you had to make decisions to create boundaries with your mom. No one knows your story. 
  • Being a mom is complicated. 
  • Being a mom can feel lonely. 
  • No mom EVER thinks she’s doing a great job. 
  • More moms need to hear – YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB! 
  • I’m sorry if you miss your mom right now. Me too. 
  • I don’t like to share drinks or snacks with my kids. Truth. After not having one private moment from the time your kids or born, you’ll understand why just having your own drink feels like a win. 
  • We worry EVERY MOMENT about our kids. 
  • No one and I mean NO ONE, loves my kids like I do. Unconditionally. Unabashedly. Whole-heartedly. 

So, nope, I didn’t want to drive 5 hours, leave my daughter, watch my son get his bottom kicked by this sport. But I don’t want to miss a moment either. So here we are.

With appreciation for all the mamas, the non-mama-mamas, the “I’m not ready to be a mama” mamas, sister mamas, auntie mamas, granny mamas, and the “I don’t want to be a mama” mamas. Shout out to the tired mamas, the loving mamas, the working mamas and the mamas that are “I just stay at home” mamas. Thank you for being brilliantly, beautifully you. Thank you for showing up for my kids and other kids in whatever capacity that means for you.

I see you, mamas. Happy Mother’s Day!