Remember when you were in school and had to fill out and submit permission slips? Maybe you were the kid that got them in on time; or maybe you were the kid that forged your parents’ signature and bounded off on the field trip anyway. I don’t even remember the last time I signed a permission slip…everything is electronic now. Sigh…

Anyway, I’m giving you a permission slip today. Here it is:

Dr. Amy is giving me permission to NOT compare my

pain to anyone else’s pain. 

This is important, my friends. Everyone carries pain.

The other day, I was speaking with a medical provider who felt bad for complaining about the exhaustion of her job because she felt that she should feel fortunate to have a job at all.

I spoke with a teacher who feels overwhelmed to return to school due to safety concerns; but she knows so many kids need to be there.

I spoke with a college student who feels sad to graduate amidst a pandemic but feels bad because she’s had opportunities that other colleges graduates have missed out on.

Same medical provider – also going through a divorce.

Same teacher – lost her mother.

Same college student – struggles with sexual identity and relationships.

You see, we only know what people share with us. We only see a small portion of another person’s pain and what he/she carries every day. So, we can’t compare our pain (regardless of how insignificant we may judge our experience of the pain) to another’s pain because we do not know what he/she is carrying.

Instead, if you’re sad, be sad. If you’re overwhelmed, be overwhelmed. If you’re content and happy, welcome it. And don’t judge yourself for the feeling or the experience. Likewise, if someone else is in pain, allow it. Don’t judge it, or compare it, or try to fix it or minimize their experience. Instead, say, “I see you.”

From the artist, Seal, Show Me:

Different kinds of people.

Different kinds of life.

We go walking toward the future with different size strides.

Show me the way to solve your sorrows,

And I’ll do what I can…

Cause we have the experience, if we plan.

Baby, we can see that close.

Show me the way to solve your problems and I’ll be there,

Show me the way and I’ll do what I can.

I just can’t stand losing.

Welcome to the new world,

Let me join your hand.

We go walking through the old world, with a brand new plan.

Friends, may we all walk this path. I give you permission to not compare your experience or pain to anyone else’s experience or pain.

With compassion,

Dr. Amy

PS – You only have two days left to sign up for the conference at my farm and waive the pre conference fee. Click here for information.