Hello friends,

Friends,

Last week, I talked about necessary steps to engage in “Unbeautiful Self-care” and attached a piece of writing from an incredible author. If you haven’t had a chance to marinate in her words, please take the time to do so.

As I’ve sat with providers, clinic leaders and medical organizations over the past many months, it is clear that caring for oneself is not an intrinsic tool. It needs to be made explicit and given permission to practice. As selfless healers, caring for oneself is actually “trained out” of us. Putting our needs behind others is a badge of honor, a way of being and encouraged as standard practice. Here are things I hear from providers:

• I try not to drink water so I don’t have to use the bathroom as much
• I try to pack small snacks because I don’t have time to sit down and eat lunch
• My milk stopped coming in because I didn’t have time to pump
• I can’t take vacation right now because my team needs me
• I’m working 60 hour weeks because of staffing issues
• Sleep? I’m used to not sleeping.
• I don’t feel safe walking into my office right now
• I’m having panic attacks in my car

 

If this is you, you are headed towards burn out if you’re not there already. I want you to give yourself a gift and take an honest inventory of where you might be neglecting yourself, where boundaries are necessary and where more compassion might be necessary. It’s more than self-care friends, it’s necessary practice to continue doing the work we do.

As an incredible provider confided in me, “I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll use your list for now, Amy. Then, perhaps, I’ll be able to create my own.” Here are the steps she followed – much of this was inspired from work that I have been doing in the leadership space for medical providers, the work of Nagoski & Freudenberger, as well as listening deeply to the needs of healthcare professionals and my own.

The Self-Care You Don’t Think You Need Right Now

1. Breathe deeply – 90 seconds a few times a day decreases cortisol hormones significantly.
2. Laugh – find a Netflix episode, listen to Comedy Central, re-watch Friends, tell bad jokes. Belly laughs release those feel-good chemicals that are important for recovery.
3. Creative expression – paint, draw, sing (even horribly!), knit, bake – something that gets you into a different part of your brain and connected with artistry.
4. Move your body – you need not run a marathon – but move, stretch, bend, dance. If you need motivation here, check out my buddy, Gurdeep Pandher.
5. Hug someone – physical contact releases another amazing chemical – oxytocin. You know it. You love it. That’s our bonding chemical – the attachment magic that makes us feel safe.

 

On a practical level – here’s what my list might look like:

1. Before I get out of bed, deep breaths. Just 90 seconds focused on my body.
2. Take the stairs at work. Park at the back of the lot. Stretch between patients.
3. Big hug to my teenagers when I get home. Dog cuddles.
4. Watch something OTHER THAN NEWS. Something that makes my heart happy. Bridgerton anyone?
5. Read a book, bake something yummy. I do not sew or paint, but I make a mean cupcake with cream cheese filling. YUMMY.
6. More hugs, hand-holding, hands-on belly, and deep breaths.

 

If I really want to challenge myself:

1. Peloton in the morning – Alex Toussaint will kick your butt. Or, if I want to torture myself (because I’m horrible at this) – guided meditation for 10 minutes. Yes, 10 minutes of meditation is harder for me than 45 minutes of pure cardio – guess which one I need more?
2. Ask for a hug. This is hard, but necessary (Why am I so bad at this??? I’m working to get better!). Let them be the first to let go. Or, offer a hug to a friend/colleague.
3. Say no to something this week. What feels like more of an obligation than rejuvenation?
4. Do something creative that makes me work – a new recipe is challenging but fun. Or, give myself a break and order food in (trigger, mom guilt), but make a yummy dessert. Did I mention I love dessert?
5. Let myself feel ok for not getting back to people right away. How do they know I got the email??
6. Read a book for me! Something I want to read. I’m diving into Brené Brown’s new book right now.
7. Go to sleep when I’m tired. What??? Yes, listen to my body, put away my computer.
8. Say no to making holiday cards this year – I’m embracing this one fully.

 

Even these small steps help us begin to heal and address overwhelm. So, borrow my list for now – the simple or the challenging one. Let me know how it goes. Let’s all do some UNBEAUTIFUL SELF-CARE!!

Finally, if you want more of this, I encourage you to sign-up for my Provider Lounge membership! This is the LAST week to sign-up for a space of true collaboration and learning AND get it at a founding members’ price. Learn more and sign-up here.

With kindness,

Dr. Amy

 

Friends, Holy smokes, have I got news for you. I’ve officially launched a provider-centric, incredible community gathering space to address burnout for you and build resilience for your patients. It’s called The Provider Lounge: A Community to Build Resilience. It’s part content, part community and it’s going to be fantastic and I don’t want you to miss out! Here’s what I know for sure – you’ll change inside this community. You’re probably already reading these newsletters because you’ve worked with me, attended a workshop, come to a lunch & learn, or been part of my retreat. And what everyone leaves with, after working with me, is wanting more. Attendees have literally said, “Where do I get my own, personal Dr. Amy?” Well, this is your chance! My skills of creating community, script-building, practical interventions, and easy-to-learn tools that will build buffering sources for you and your patients are all wrapped up in this opportunity – monthly content AND community in The Provider Lounge. I know you want to feel less overwhelmed and more purposeful in your work. I know you feel burnout at times. And I know your goal is to connect more meaningfully with patients and respond to their stress, trauma, and adversity with actionable next steps. But, that takes time and implementation. Let me help you. We’ll work together, in community, and over time you’ll feel like a resilience ninja! Come to monthly meetings, ask questions and dive into content. It’s all here for you in The Lounge. Would you like to: Engage with a community of like-minded peers Reduce your own professional burnout Learn point-of-care resilience building tools that can be used in 2-5 minutes? Gain access to a growing library of resources for facilitation of this work Have access to a seasoned developmental psychologist?   If so, The Provider Lounge is for YOU! If you sign up by Friday, November 19, you’re in at the founding member’s price AND I’m going to give you access to my transformational parenting course, The Art of Imperfect Parenting. The founding member’s price is yours forever. As The Provider Lounge grows in resources, number and authority, your price stays the same! And, if you don’t love it, you can cancel at any time. Join us – come for the content, stay for the community. Find a soft place to land in The Provider Lounge. With kindness, Dr. Amy

Hey friends, Have you heard of the term “pacesetter?” If you’ve entered running races, swimming events, biking races, or the like, you’ve probably heard about pacesetters in that context. A pacesetter is a person who does exactly that: sets the pace for others. In a moment, I’m going to make the argument that I can be your pacesetter for navigating stress and decreasing burnout, but more on that later. In a large race, you’ll find a person holding a sign or leading a group with a paced time on it. Before high-tech gear, a pacesetter would have one of those sandwich board that said “10 min mile” and would encourage others who aspired to run a 10-minute mile to run with them, assuring a finishing time that met their goals. See where I’m going here? And, by the way, don’t judge me for running a 10-minute mile as a reference point. 10 minute miles get the job done! But I digress… What we’re all going through as helpers during the middle of the pandemic is nothing short of an ultra-marathon. Not a 5K or 10K as we initially thought. Heck, this pandemic isn’t even a marathon…but an ultra-marathon. We’re going to need more than good sneakers, Gu and some inspirational beats to get through all of this. We need a pacesetter. May I be your pacesetter? You see, as medical providers, you’re trained to put on a brave face and help others, even during the most trying times. But the last year and a half have been exhausting. Am I right? And it’s difficult to find respite, purpose, and sift through all of the messages of self-care. How are you supposed to do that while running a clinic, seeing patients, taking care of your staff, and rolling out vaccines? I’m here to help. I am hosting a workshop this week– to give you practical tools to feel less burned out so you can practice meaningful medicine. As soon as the pandemic hit, I began reaching out to medical providers, clinics, and hospitals about how I might help. I spoke with medical directors in tears, providers in panic, and distraught colleagues. I knew we had to focus on practical tools to mitigate the effects of the pandemic and see this as an ultra-marathon if we were going to make it through intact. Earlier in this newsletter series, we began with acknowledgment. Acknowledgment begins a healing process. Then we moved into support and resources. And now, as we begin to reconcile with what we’ve been through (and still have curveballs thrown at us) and what we continue to go through, we need ways to navigate the uncertainty of primary care. We need practical tools and actionable next steps to make sense of what’s happening and clear the way for a meaningful path forward. Here’s exactly what we’ll be covering in the webinar if you join me: Recognizing the signs of burnout Understanding compounding stress and its effect on us Practical tools to address overwhelm Actionable tools to deal with uncertainty Ways to find purpose Moving into community   The workshop will take place this Wednesday, November 10th at 6:00 pm PST. Register at https://doctoramyllc.mykajabi.com/registration-page Come and run a 10-minute mile with me! Or just come, drink wine and listen. It’s better in company! With compassion, Dr. Amy

Friends and Colleagues, If you read last week’s newsletter, you know that burnout is a critical theme to address in primary care. And yet, it’s quite complicated and multi-layered as well. If you haven’t read it, you can do so here. You may be asking yourself, “If I’ve identified that I’m burned out and overwhelmed, now what? What can I do? Is there even hope? Or, do I just put my head down and keep forging on with no end in sight?” Please don’t do that – do not continue to forge ahead in isolation. I want to offer a few key insights into what addresses burnout and what we can begin to do. First, know that it’s not entirely on you. Too many well-intentioned consultants, therapists and coaches suggest that the key to burnout is self-care. While addressing self-care is important, it’s only ONE PART of addressing burnout. In fact, I’ve consulted with hundreds of health care professionals who are doing ALL.OF.THE.RIGHT.THINGS when it comes to self-care – eating, sleeping and exercising – and they’re still overwhelmed and burned out. No amount of healthy eating can address things like organizational stress or marginalization, poor work environments or an ongoing pandemic. Recognizing that addressing burnout is bigger than you represents a critical step. Second, you have to name it – the burn out. The overwhelm. The feeling of hopelessness and resignation. That pit in your stomach that realizes you are lacking purpose or passion in your practice. I know it seems terrifying, right? Naming the overwhelm? But I’ve actually never seen a time where acknowledging hurt made it worse in the long-term. It’s painful, sure. And it can be scary. You might worry you’re all alone and that no one else can relate. Or worse, that others will judge you as incompetent. But, only if we name it can we begin to address the chronic fatigue and burden we’re experiencing. Finally, we need to embrace a bit of vulnerability. We need to find a person (or many people). Next week, we’ll discuss finding your pacesetter. If you’re not sure what that is, stay tuned. But in the meantime, I want you to try something. Acknowledge overwhelm to one other person – maybe it’s a colleague, your partner, your life coach, a friend, or your dog. Find the courage to say, “I’m not sure how long I can go on like this…” Or, recognize overwhelm or fatigue in a friend or colleague and say, “I see you.” Then watch. Watch what happens when we say it out loud. Perfection is not what people need from us. They need to know we’re entirely human. Humanness builds connection. It heals loneliness and isolation. Connection builds a bridge to others that says, “I’m with you, you’re not alone in this.”  The only way to begin to “cure” burnout is to recognize 1. It’s not entirely on you. 2. You must name it. 3. Embrace being vulnerable for a bit with one other person – for yourself and for the other person. Join me next week as we talk about how to continue to build those bridges of connection by recognizing your pacesetter. Until then, hopefully I’ll see you in The Provider Lounge – A Community Build Resilience. It’s a special group just for providers that meets the first Thursday of every month at 12:30 PST via zoom. Here’s the link to join us. And just a week after the Provider Lounge meets, I’m hosting a FREE workshop on burnout – here’s the link for you to grab a friend and join us! With compassion for all you do, Dr. Amy

Hello Friends,

Holy smokes, do I have news for you! TWO opportunities to get some support during this time of uncertainty. I know you’re all overwhelmed. I know burnout is real and fatiguing. The only way to address burnout is through connection, support, and practical tools. When we come together as a community and acknowledge how challenging the last 20 months have been, then some healing and reconciling can begin. So, with that being said, here are two opportunities for support. FREE and FREE!!

“Amy, no one had told me that ‘it’s ok to not be okay’ until you did. Thank you for reminding me that we’re human.”
Chief Medical Officer (after Summer Wellness Workshop)

Mark your calendars! The first bit of support is through a free workshop on November 10 at 6pm. Beyond Burnout: Navigating your way through trying times as a provider. In this workshop, we’ll discuss symptoms of burnout, what’s contributing to burnout and how to address what we’re going through. I promise you, I’m not going to give out nuggets that focus on eating better, getting sleep and taking a vacation. I mean, that’s all-important, but I’m going to give you tangible things you can do to address overwhelm. Let’s be honest, we need to focus on what’s possible and practical. And more importantly, when we only focus on a few parts of self-care, we miss the big picture! We’re going to walk through actionable steps you can take to address overwhelm and find more purpose in your work.

Register for this free workshop here.

Join us! Many of you have joined us for Refresh – our monthly meetings for providers to gather as a community, gain tools around resilience-building and gather resources to support your patients. Well, Refresh will now be known as The Provider Lounge: A Community to Build Resilience. The Provider Lounge is a community of like-minded medical providers that want to focus on building resilience in their patients and themselves. If you’re looking for a place to find purpose, create meaning, and respond with practical tools that build buffering forces for whatever our patients face, this is the community for you!

The Provider Lounge is also an online portal for providers. In it, you can access tons of content that build resilience for your patients including scripts, videos, resilience interventions, and cards for connection.

For now, The Provider Lounge is free! Come to a meeting and check out the portal. If you want access right away to see what’s going on inside, just reply to this email and I’ll send you a login so you can join us. Our next community gathering in The Provider Lounge will be Thursday, November 4 at 12:30 pm. And yes, all meetings are taped so that, even if you miss us, you won’t miss the gems!

Join us via Zoom on November 4th at 12:30 pm for The Provider Lounge.

OK friends, I hope you feel like help is on the way. I’m working hard to make myself available, provide resources and free support as much as possible.

See you November 4 and November 10th! Mark your calendars now!

Speaking of free and easy…. did you know that 90 seconds of deep belly breathing has been shown to decrease cortisol by 30%??? Yep – breathing is straightforward and simple – but we don’t always take time to do it.

So, deep breaths friends, help is coming!

With compassion,

Dr. Amy

Well, hello friends & colleagues,

I thought I might take a moment to reflect on the past few weeks by reaching out to all of you with updates specifically for providers and those in the healthcare field.

If you’re subscribed to my regular newsletter, then you likely hear from me weekly about parenting woes, showing up more vulnerably as a human and ways to create resilience for our kids. But as my work has begun to shift dramatically towards helping the helpers, specifically healthcare workers in primary care, I thought I might begin to send some nuggets to all of you on a more regular basis.

Over the past weeks and months, I’ve talked with hundreds of providers and healthcare leaders. And, wow. There’s so much on our collective plates. I have the pleasure of working with people in different capacities which allows me to ascertain pain points and feel more effective when I help, offer resources, or create content to share. Here are some highlights:

• Individuals in primary care feeling anxious as people try to figure out “new normal.”
• Leaders feel frustrated as people refer to “post-pandemic” as if we’re there…
• Groups of pediatricians who are struggling with vaccine hesitancy and trying to figure out how to have these delicate, often personal, discussions with patients.
• Leaders who are trying to figure out how to create staff resilience after such long periods of burnout and overwhelm.
• Providers trying to find meaning as we move back to “regular behavior” …

 

Does any of this sound familiar? You’re not alone. Fatigue, overwhelm, burnout, and exhaustion are words that I am hearing on a daily basis. We have to create space to name these feelings. We must normalize space for people to say, “I’m not okay right now.” And we don’t have to fix it, fade it, or make it go away – listening is a great place to start. And man-oh-man have I listened. And felt tearful. And powerless. And IN IT. How about you?

Here’s something to try right away that can feel pretty powerful: I want you to write down two things that feel opposing but can actually go together. Then bridge the two with AND. For instance, “It’s beautiful outside AND I wish we had rain because it’s so dry.” Or “I love treating patients AND I’m exhausted.” Or “I feel blessed to have had a job through such a tumultuous time AND it’s overwhelming to keep going for so long.” Once we embrace the AND there’s a certain amount of pressure that peels away; or at least, that’s my hope. Acknowledging that two opposing thoughts can co-occur acknowledges the complexity that we all experience. One does not exclude the other, nor diminish pain. BOTH are TRUE.

I’d love to hear from you – so many of you are struggling with fatigue and if you begin to embrace the duality – that it’s ok to feel grateful AND exhausted; inspired AND fearful; acknowledging AND frustrated – the overwhelm will begin to dissipate.

Oh, and another way to decrease the overwhelm – fuel yourself. Here are two ways to join me: The first is FREE and happening within weeks. The second is a retreat that will refuel your mind and spirit.

August 5 at 12:30 – join me for Refresh, A Meaningful Medicine Community.

Or, if you’re ready for more, for a deep dive full of great food, wine, yoga and sharing stories with like-minded professionals….join me for The Most Important Medicine: Transforming Primary Care by Focusing on Relational Health and Connection. 

Where will I see you next?

With compassion,

Dr. Amy

Happy Summer Friends – Believe me, I know it’s not all bright and cheery – as I type this, COVID rates are up (Come on! Please wear your masks friends!), our nation is facing a long-overdue dismantling of systemic racism, and parents (not to mention teachers and our kids) are barely recovering from distance learning. 

Amidst everything, I’m continuing to look for ways to serve you, my community of parents, teachers and professionals (and those of you that wear all the hats). Here are some important things I’ve been up to….

1. We hired a new administrative coordinator for our team – meet Sammy Magaña. Sammy exudes energy and she’s an absolute delight to work with on all things newsletter, social media and other tasks we’re overwhelmed with on team Dr. Amy. Here’s a picture of our team on a zoom meeting recently:  

2. We’re hosting a 2-day intensive for teachers in August. If you’re a teacher or know a teacher who needs 2 days in wine country to engage in self-care and learn with a community of colleagues about how to build resilience in students, I sure hope you join us! We’re doing yoga, drinking wine, become resilience-building champions and creating an amazingly strong community! Sign up here!

3. Third and not the least important – we’re building a new, free online group for parents on Facebook. It’s called Parenting with Intention and you can join here. Parenting with Intention will inform me about how to create meaningful resources for parents, but even if you never take the course, I want this community for all of you! To that end, we hosted a focus group last week because I truly wanted to know how to best serve all of you! Thank you to those of you who joined – it meant so much to me! Here are a few snippets of what I learned……

• You want a community of like-minded parents where you can say, “this is hard for me” and not feel shame.

• You need practical, useful tools to implement.

• You want help around discipline, disrespect, teen worlds, consistency and setting limits.

• You want ways to connect with your kids.

• You want peer support from other parents. 

• You DON’T want to be asked to journal….HA!

• You DON’T want to read one more book with impractical advice.

• You DON’T want to read books at all, really.

• You want expert advice.

• You want humor and transparency. 

• What else??? This group is for you, by you and will hopefully lead to amazing things! 

That’s it from my neck of the woods here at the farm…. Oh, did you need one more picture of what goes on around the farm? Here you go – my daughter with some foster kittens.

Can’t wait to see you in our new, free FB group. Join now!   

Dr. Amy

PS – Did you hear me on Modern Mommy Doc? Check it out!

Hello friends – A few fun events have been happening in Dr. Amy’s world, despite quarantine life. I hope the same is true for you. Let’s get caught up! 

Catch up on blog posts

Are the days feeling fast and slow all at once? Underwhelming and overwhelming all at once? Hopefully, you read the last message around acknowledgment – if you haven’t, you can grab it here. Acknowledging where we stand and how we feel is an important step for healing and growth. Here’s what one reader recently told me:

Thank you for talking about acknowledging the pain. That’s where I have been this whole time. Anything else feels invalidating to my experience. This sucks…I don’t find comfort in positive spins on this. I feel like I need validation before I can being to move through this. 

I hope you read these posts and let me know what else I can cover for you in my twice-monthly blog. You can reply now and send me thoughts and ideas any time. 

AND, special bonus – if you’re a teacher, I’m adding a special edition newsletter on alternating weeks to help inspire you, partner with you, and get to the end of the school year whole. Here it is! 

Listen to Dr. Amy on a Podcast

If you’re following me on social media, you may have seen that I was recently featured on a podcast with Dr. Whitney Casares @modernmommydoc. I was talking with her about how to embrace “good enough” parenting, especially right now during a time of overwhelm. If you’re like me, you’re still in the midst of working from home, homeschooling your children, figuring out quarantine rules and phase one rules and all of the things! This episode speaks directly to those of us who would like to embrace imperfect parenting and, instead, show up perfectly imperfect for our children. I hope you check it out!

Collaborate with Dr. Amy

OK, you’ve made it this far in quarantine-lock-down-what-the-heck-more-could-my-kids-want-do-they-need-another-snack-can-we-drink-yet-what-day-is-it kind of days. Whew! Great job! And, I want to continue to partner with you and support all of you. 

Come June, I think we’re going to need a mindset shift – moving from parent as teacher to simply being a parent again. While I know you constantly wear many hats, doing “crisis homeschooling” with your child the past few months has, I’m sure, taken its toll on your relationship with your child. 

If you’re like me, you’ve had some tears and many feelings of overwhelm. So, I thought we could come together to refocus on our most important job – being a perfectly imperfect parent. 

I’m looking for a small group of parents to create a course all about positive discipline and connection. If you’ve heard me speak before or read my previous blog posts, then you know I’m a big believer in authoritative parenting, or what I call, becoming a Loving Hard Ass. It’s a delicate balance between being kind and firm, unconditional and clear, loving and having high expectations. 

If you’d like to join me in creating a transformational course for parents, sign up to be a part of this focus group! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts, ideas, and the best ways to meet your needs as parents.

 Space is limited!

Sign up here!

Your Investment (my ask of you):

• Meet with Dr. Amy and other parents for 1 hour via Zoom

• Provide feedback and input on content, timing, and outline for the course

• Complete a 5-10 minute survey

Here’s the pay-off (what’s in it for you):

• You get to be a part of creating a custom course for YOUR needs

• You’ll be the first to sign up for the course before anyone else has access

• You’ll receive 30% off the course

In other words, this is a course that I want you to find both meaning and ownership in – I want to be your teacher and coach; but I also want you to feel invested in how you engage with the content. This is truly the only way change occurs!

That’s all friends – catch up, listen, and collaborate – those are your three action items. 

• Read up on my previous blog posts about acknowledgment 

• Listen to my podcast episode with Dr. Whitney Casares @modernmommydoc 

• Remember to sign up if you want to be part of my focus group about Transforming your Approach to Parenting

Let me know which one you’ve chosen (hopefully all!) and know that I hope to see you in a focus group. 

With compassion,

Dr. Amy