Today, I packed up my daughter to send her back to Corvallis after staying with me for a week. She had reconstructive knee surgery last week and she’s been staying with me, post-surgery, to recuperate and heal. I find myself somewhat somber today and reflective of our week together. While I would never want my children to experience surgery or pain, it was a gift to have this time with her. I was grateful to be able to take time off and care for her. 

On Friday, I found myself in tears while caregiving. As I was helping her wobble around, she sat, unsteady on a chair, so that I could brush and blow-dry her hair. She expressed frustration and exasperation whilst she felt helpless and tired. As I ran my hands through her hair, I told her, “It’s an honor to take care of you. You’re not a burden.” I shared with her that I could not remember the last time she snuggled in next to me to sleep. I could not remember the last time I had to be awoken at night for medicine, an upset tummy, or to reassure tears of uncertainty. Certainly, it had been more than a decade since I had braided or blow-dried her hair. All of these rituals had gone to the wayside as independence and self-assuredness grew into her. So, for seven days, even though we were both exhausted, I treasured each moment of caretaking. 

Off she goes today, back to her life in college. She has an incredible support system of friends and a kind, caring boyfriend. I know she’ll be taken care of, and I’ve encouraged her to advocate for herself and ask for assistance. We’ve arranged follow-up appointments, reviewed medication, practiced exercises, and set her up with meals and support. And yet… no one takes care of her like I do. I’m sending her away from her protective bubble of home and love. 

Friends, I know that those of you who have littles and are in the thick of parenting feel exhausted and underappreciated. I’m simply encouraging you to breathe it all in today. When you have a moment to braid hair, snuggle in, give baths, or simply have a chaotic meal together, take a snapshot in your heart. 

Here’s to little moments of motherhood and fatherhood that I feel honored to be part of every day.