I know so many of you loathe Valentine’s Day. It feels commercialized, performative, and full of romantic pressure. Or perhaps you’re single and Valentine’s Day feels lonely? Only for couples? Only for the sappy romantics? Well, I get it. So, I want to offer you a reframe on Valentine’s Day and the most important aspect (The Most Important Medicine) as I see it – Connection. 

If you don’t want to hear my plea for love and connection, scroll down. If you only want to learn about an upcoming opportunity for a VIP experience on connection, scroll down. Really, you won’t hurt my feelings – you can still be my Valentine  

Why not embrace a day that allows us to tell others we love them? It doesn’t have to be chocolates and flowers. In fact, it doesn’t have to be romantic and sappy. What if, like me, you use it as an opportunity to connect? 

Let’s take back the commercialized version of Valentine’s Day. Instead, let’s see it as an opportunity. It is not expensive to tell someone we love them. It is not fake if we say “I care. I see you.” It is not performative if we point out to someone that they mean so much to us. In fact, it’s necessary. Everyone needs to know and learn about unconditional love. We’re born to love and be loved! Unconditional love creates a framework for connection and resilience. Love and connection – to give both without expectation, without return and without conditions – is vital for healthy bonds and attachments. It provides safety, security and a home base that says, “I’ll catch you when you fall, no matter what. There’s nothing you could do that would remove my love.” 

Here are some ways you could embrace Valentine’s Day and commit to expressing love and connection. This is the good stuff friends! I’ll share some and you write me back and share with me what you’re trying out! 

• Hug someone you love for 20 seconds. Don’t be the first to let go. 
• Leave a note on a co-worker’s desk indicating appreciation for his/her work.
• Surprise a service worker with a big tip of mention their hard work to a supervisor. 
• Tell a random parent what a great job they’re doing. 
• Snuggle with a puppy. With your partner. With a baby. With yourself! 
• Listen to music that moves you to emotion. 
• Call your mom, dad or another important adult in your life. Tell them how they influenced you. 
• Reach out to a teenager for mentorship. 
• Never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

These expressions of love and connection are lifelines. I’ve committed my life to study ways we build resilience to mitigate trauma and early adversity and I’m telling you this – connection is everything.

I can’t wait to hear back from you about the small steps you’re taking to embrace a new version of Valentine’s Day – one of love and connection on your terms! 

If you’re a healthcare provider or healthcare leader and want to spend 2 days in wine country with me, learning about how to enhance connection and relational health through my proven, research-based curriculum Cards for Connection©, reach out and tell me, “Happy Valentine’s Day – I’m in!” Spots are already filling! I’ll send you all the details! 

And if you haven’t heard this lately – I see you. I appreciate you. You’re doing great things. You’re worthy of love!