I hope this message finds you well and that you found peace and solace in a different type of Thanksgiving. Things have certainly felt different this year. How did you celebrate? Did you hold onto traditions and try to observe “Thanksgiving as usual”? Did you embrace the need to celebrate smaller? Did you try something new this holiday? Maybe you’ve already put up your Christmas tree and decked the halls? Was that you? Perhaps you’re just putting your head down hoping to get through the holidays and this “nightmare” will be over soon. Perhaps you don’t celebrate either holiday and you’re simply looking forward to 2021 with hope that things will get better. Wherever you are, I’m with you.
I want to begin a discussion about our own barriers we have as parents. Let’s start with fears.
What terrifies you?
For me, the unknown power, lurking creatures, and depths of the ocean are beyond scary. You’ll never find me more than waste-deep in ocean water. Unless it’s on a chartered snorkel trip with hundreds of people that could be a tasty snack before me! With a waist buoy! Not kidding.
So, watching my kids jump off the back of a catamaran in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a certified scuba expert barely old enough to babysit left me nauseated. I literally had to clasp my hands together as to not shake.
But they would never know it. “This will be so fun, you should do it!” “Of course it’s safe, Miranda’s done this thousands of times, she’ll show you !” “This is an incredible experience, go for it!”
What if they drown?
What if a shark eats them?
What if the tank is wrong and they have no air?
What if the instructor loses them?
But what if they love it?
My goal as a mom is to not impose my fears on them. I want my kids to have their own life experiences that shape how they view the world, without me imposing my fears and phobias on them.
What about you? What terrifies you? What is something that you worry about for you or for your children, yet you need them to face and to shape their own experience in the world? What gets in your way? Is your fear prohibiting your kids from experiencing a part of life?
I literally had to walk to the back of the boat and away from them after they were in the water and I could no longer see them. It was out of my control. When they came up to the surface, 30 minutes later, breathless with excitement and chattering about amazing underwater adventures, I finally exhaled.
“When can we do it again?”
Let’s begin to look at barriers that creep into parenting for us and get in our way of being our most imperfectly perfect selves.
Just keep swimming…
PS – Please join my newest Facebook group called Parenting with Intention. It’s an amazing community of supportive, honest parents full of love, ideas and honesty.
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